There’s nothing like overhearing your neighbor’s vigorous sex through the wall that you share to remind you exactly how single you are. It forces you to think about every aspect of your single life:
Why are you single? Are you content being single? Are you enough? Are you good enough? What if you aren’t good enough? Are you girlfriend material? What if nobody wants to marry you ever in the history of your existence? Will you have to settle for some nerdy short guy who worships you that you have absolutely zero sexual attraction towards? Would you rather settle or be single? Why are you so horny? When was the last time you had sex? When was the last time you went on a date? Why isn’t anybody trying to date you? Why is it always the guys you have no interest in who are the ones asking you out? If you’re getting asked out a lot, but you feel like the guys asking aren’t good enough for you, does that make you a bitch? Are your standards too high? Are you even as pretty as people say you are? Why don’t your friends ever want to set you up with their single guy friends? Are you a slut? Should you buy a new vibrator? Why didn’t that guy you made out with accept your friend request? If he had accepted you, would you even still be thinking about him? If you hadn’t added him while you were stoned off of your ass from that weed brownie, would you still have added him? Do you think he knew you were high? Do you think everyone knew you were high? What other Facebook mistakes did you make when you decided to use social media while under the influence of marijuana? How many calories did you consume that day? Are you fat? Do you think guys don’t want you to be their girlfriend because you’re so fat? Why can’t you choose to become a lesbian? If you were a boy, would you act the same way they do? Would you be a player? Why don’t you just give up? Why don’t you kill yourself? Why don’t you get some professional help?
The Single Issue 